Turns out that my little guy loves art and music so we incorporate that into our schooling every day.  Well, truth be told, we'd be doing it whether he likes it or not so I'm very glad that he does!!

We had a lesson on Jackson Pollock a couple of days ago then Jacob and I mixed up some paint and he went to work.  He was so into it!  Once I got him going, I went inside to clean the kitchen.  He stayed outside working on this for nearly an hour.  At one point, he ran into the house to put on his swimming suit - I think it was about 65 degrees out.  I guess that his clothing was restricting his creativity.  LOL

Have I mentioned recently how much I LOVE this little man??

my heart hurts.

39 kids.  with HIV.  waiting in Eastern Europe for someone to find them and give them a future.   Maybe someone reading this post will feel led to love one of them.  Or maybe to donate a few dollars so that someone else could give them a family.

Currently, these kids have ZERO dollars in their sponsorship funds.

They are beautiful, every one.  But don't take my word for it - go see for yourself. 

http://www.reecesrainbow.org/hivee1.html

We had a great Thanksgiving at my parents house.  Lots of kids, lots of food, an all ages game of soccer.  Too fun!!  and so much to be thankful for!!!!!

***deep breath***

This is a difficult post to write. I have decided to live my life in Christ out loud and on the internet - to His Glory - and so I try hard to be transparent in ALL of my life. Now it's time to write about the house.

Eleven years ago, God blessed us with a beautiful home. We had begun to feel crowded in our old house and wanted more room to spread out. The payments were all that we could handle but we took the leap and moved in. Over the years, LaRue had remodeled almost all of it and molded it to perfectly suit our family.

Over the years, as we pursued the 'American Dream' of acquiring more and more stuff, we also acquired more and more debt. The great deal that we had originally gotten on our home soon was overshadowed by a huge second mortgage. We took great vacations, drove great cars and wanted for nothing during those years. Somehow, we always were able to make those payments - even on the credit cards that every bank and store were so anxious to give.

At no point did we feel like what we were doing was wrong. Sure, we knew that it would be cool to not have all of those payments each month but EVERYONE we knew was in exactly the same boat that we were. We felt NORMAL.

Then, as we began to grow closer to God, we realized that NORMAL was WRONG. Suddenly, we saw our lifestyle and our debt as sin. We vowed to change but we knew that it would be a long and difficult road. It seemed impossible.

It was in the midst of this change in our hearts that God called us to adopt Jacob. None of it made sense. Adoption is so expensive. We had no savings and no idea how we would come up with the money but we knew without a doubt that we needed to say yes to God and figure it out. It was by the grace of God that we were able to bring Jacob home as quickly as we did.

My little human mind cannot comprehend what has happened to us in the last year. We committed to Jacob in November of last year. In March, I was laid off from my job. Our plans to become debt-free had taken an enormous double punch to the gut. We knew immediately that the house was going to have to go.

We have been trying for months to sell our home. We tried to refinance. We began to communicate with our banks in April, letting them know that we were trying to honor our debts. Asking for any help they could give us. No response at all. None.

We had to make a choice. Should I go find full-time employment and put Jacob into school? We know that is not best for Jacob. He needs to be homeschooled for now. It is so important that I am home with him - LaRue and I both feel so strongly about this.

The choices that we are making are counter-cultural, to say the least. By all worldly standards, we are failing life with a capital F. I know that most people won't understand why we are choosing to lose so much. Why did we bring another child into our home??

This house is temporary. In 100 years, it will probably be gone. Our adoption of Jacob will have eternal consequences. Ripple effects that we cannot even imagine will be felt for generations. What will he become? What will his children's children do for the Kingdom?

Losing this house hurts, I would be lying if I said it doesn't. This experience is painful and humiliating. Incredibly humbling. Our future is uncertain in a lot of ways. But one thing I know for sure - God is in control. His perfect plan is unfolding before us, even though we can't see it. Following God has included a lot of blind curves for us. Time and time again, we've rounded a scary corner to be hit full on with the amazing Power and Grace of our God.

Once again, we are being tested in our faith. What a blessing! We have no idea what this will look like a year from now, but looking back over the past 12 months, I can see God's hand so clearly. I know without a doubt that I will be saying the very same thing 12 months from now. I will be praising God for His many, many blessings!!

Courtney had asked a great question about the meds so I thought that I'd go ahead and answer it with a post.

How do they decide when a child needs to go on meds? If their counts are low enough, do the doctors just wait to give meds or do they start them to help keep the counts low?

Please, in case you need reminding, I am a total rookie at all of this stuff. Everything I have learned has been by 'crash course' and I learn more every day. So, with that disclaimer, I am happy to share what I am learning along the way.

There are two numbers that we use to assess the health of Jacob's immune system. The first is the CD4 count which measures how well the body is able to combat infection. The second is the viral load, which measures how much of the virus is in the blood. Ideally, we want the first number to be high and the second to be low.

I've mentioned before that Jacob's numbers were good, meaning that his CD4 count is that of a child without HIV and his viral load is pretty low. It would be possible for us to delay putting Jacob on medication based on these numbers alone. This is where the decision becomes an individual one based on a person's overall health.

Our doctors feel that it is right to put Jacob on medication at this time. There are a number of reasons for this. First, he has swollen lymph nodes throughout his body. This is not unhealthy in and of itself but it is symptomatic of the HIV. Also, because Jacob is so tiny and not growing, we feel that the medication may help him to reach his full height and weight potential. He is currently in the 10th percentile for height and weight and we are trying our best to help his body up that chart as far as possible before he hits puberty in a few years. Also, our team of doctors takes the approach that bringing the virus to undetectable is the best plan of action and will allow Jacob to grow up as healthy as possible.

Jacob is taking three different medications. He takes five pills in the morning and five at night - 12 hours apart. This combination of drugs greatly reduces the chances of the virus mutating and becoming resistant. If his body tolerates them well, he could stay on this particular combination for many years, thus reducing the need for him to adjust to new drugs.

We do trust our team of doctors at the children's hospital. This was not really a difficult decision for us to make. Although I typically do not choose medication for my kids, in this case I feel it is best for J. Thankfully, he is tolerating it well and the side effects are minimal and fading already.

A friend recommended the book 100 Questions & Answers About HIV and AIDS by Joel Gallant, MD. I highly recommend it, too.

We started Jacob on medication this week. I will admit, the first morning I had some real doubts and I was second-guessing our decision. I was worried about side effects - would the benefits outweigh the negatives?? Once we start, there is no turning back. Unless they find a cure someday, he will likely be taking medication for the rest of his life. Were we making the right decision?

One huge blessing is that Jacob can swallow any pill we give him. The first day we started he just looked at that cup full of pills [5 pills plus his multivitamin] and took them one at a time with no complaints at all. I was so proud of him. He hasn't given me a minute of trouble about taking all those pills - 6 pills in the morning and 5 at night.

He has had a little bit of tummy trouble and his appetite is definitely down but otherwise he is tolerating the meds well.

I hope that his appetite picks up so that we don't lose more ground with his weight gain. The nutritionist has challenged me to add 300 calories to his daily intake. Jacob loves cheesecake so she suggested giving him a piece at night before bed. Not something that I would ordinarily advocate but we were willing to try since he's actually lost weight since we've been home. As it turns out, one slice of New York style cheesecake has 580 calories. Yes, you read that right. I will never be able to look at cheesecake the same way again. Yikes. It works out well for us though - Jacob has 1/2 a slice each night before bed and that just about takes care of our additional 300 calorie goal. Needless to say, I am not joining him in this nightly treat!!

Thank you Brad for all of the skateboard lessons! Jacob is quite proud of the new skills he's learning.

I love his self-talk: OK, try again. one second, try again. We did a study on perseverance - I think he's got it!

It's been pretty hit and miss with Jacob and food. Of course, potatoes in almost any form go over well. He also loves meat and eggs. He's good about trying new things even if he thinks that he won't like it.

He asked me to make him some chicken for lunch - he meant turkey that we'd had the night before. While it was warming in the microwave, I gave him one of the pork potstickers that I had just made for Austin. He didn't love it.



I love how he keeps taking bites even though we have clearly established that he doesn't like it. I love his tweaky hair too.

...I'll take it. We went a whole TWO WEEKS without any meltdowns. I think that is quite an achievement!! So, we did have a pretty dramatic one yesterday and ended up missing church. That bummed me out pretty good but overall I am thrilled with our progress so far. Jacob is picking up so much English; I love the mix of Ukrainian and English that he is using to communicate with these days. I'm not too quick to correct him on the words he's choosing to use. I know that his Ukrainian is fading fast and even his sweet accent will be just a memory soon. For now I'm just enjoying the cuteness.

He is a dream. If I could special order five more just like him I would do it in a heartbeat. We've been home just over two months now!

Some random snippets from the past month:


Building a spaceship with big brother Austin for our unit study about the moon. Jacob has been really reluctant to play by himself and this spaceship proved to be a great toy to encourage him to play! Going to the moon by yourself can be so much fun!





We took Jacob into big church with us for the first few weeks. He did really well and sat quietly during the messages. After three weeks of that, we decided to try out Sunday School and see how he did. He was pretty excited for the first day of Sunday School after we had talked about it all week. Sunday morning at 6:45 he flung open our bedroom door - he was fully dressed and ready to go!





Jacob loves to clean. He would clean all day long if I let him. He does a good job, too.





A rare quiet moment of crafting with Cody. I love those! They are wearing jackets because it sprinkled for 30 seconds that morning and they wanted to be ready to run outside if it started up again!




Turtle! I don't know who took this but it's a great photo.




Getting ready to go on a bike ride with Dad. I think it was about 70 degrees outside. The little Ukrainian does not like to be cold.





I found him in his room like this one morning. He's in the middle of a very animated story about what he's going to do when the snow finally comes. He keeps looking out the window and hoping for snow. Poor baby.




Working with math rods. Jacob is loving first grade. He still needs to reinforce some of the kindergarten skills so I'm working those into our day but first grade is just so much more exciting!




I'd like to thank Toy Story for putting this great idea into his head. Yes, he had successfully made fire by the time I found him doing this and yes, I have hidden the magnifying glass.





Chillin' in front of a movie with popcorn. We like to call this quiet time. Mom loves quiet time.





We went to the zoo for the first time this weekend. Jacob loved everything. He has the cutest way of saying it: Oh, I love it dis elephant. Oh, I love it dis monkey. So adorable. They were painting faces at the zoo but charging $7! What?! Not a chance that I would give in to that so Casey very sweetly painted Jacob a dinosaur face when we got home!




Uncle Jeff came for a short visit. Apparently, Uncle Jeff has a very cool phone...Jacob couldn't take his hands off of it!






My favorite face ever.

It's gonna cost you. 10 bucks. You in??

First Gift.


Every day, 4500 mothers bury their children due to contaminated water. They are forced to sustain their families with a diabolical liquid that contains both life and death. This lack of clean water is the leading cause of death in underdeveloped nations. And it just doesn't have to be!

So as we gear up to scurry through department stores and browse endless catalogs in search of new jeans, Tonka Trucks, gadgets and dolls....we are pausing. We are pausing. And today, November 13th, we are buying water. Clean, life-saving water.

$10 will provide one person in Africa clean water for 10 years. It will literally change and possibly save someone's life. A mother. A child. A brother. A grandfather.

We are rallying together for a cause. Clean water. One day. $10. Asking everyone to let this be their first gift. Let water, let life be their first gift of the season.

Click here to be directed to the secure donation site of the highly recognized, non-profit, charity: water. Just click the yellow button to make a donation. All donations are tax deductible, and 100% of your donation will go to clean water solutions in West Africa.

You may not know this, but November is National Adoption Month. Nothing would make me happier than for this little sweetie to find his family this month.

Thomas has been listed on the Reece's Rainbow site for as long as I've been checking it, which is over a year. If you aren't familiar with Reece's Rainbow, they are a non-profit organization that helps to locate and advocate for special needs orphans all over the world. They are not an adoption agency but all involved work very hard to help these kids make it home to their forever families. It was through this organization that Jacob was located and we were able to find him and bring him home.

Why does a boy like Thomas stay on the site, waiting and waiting, while other kids get 'chosen'? I don't know. Maybe, like me, people don't know what a diagnosis of CP and an oval window (heart condition) means. Any of your readers that have experience with either of these conditions, feel free to leave comments to help educate me and others who might be interested.

Thomas has just turned five - a perfect age to adopt, in my humble opinion. If you have questions or comments about adding an 'older' child to your family, ask away. If you are considering adopting an HIV+ child and have questions - ask away. Feel free!! What better time than National Adoption Month to commit to one of these precious children??





Thomas

Boy, Born August 2, 2004

SIGNIFICANT RISK, PLEASE ADOPT ME SOON!!

Thomas is a sweet, happy little boy with amazing potential. He has brown hair and brown eyes. He was born with CP and an oval window (heart condition). Despite his challenges, his caregivers say he is a very smart boy, he is an orphanage favorite, and they really want him to have a family to call his own. Thomas is able to walk holding on to a rail, and with therapy, will improve remarkably.

Thomas is blessed to still be at the baby house, but he can not stay much longer. He needs a family right away. Please consider Thomas to be your new son!

I tried so hard to get pictures of Jacob and Cody together. Jacob is such a total ham that it's hard to get a photo of him without some crazy pose. Cody, on the other hand, was apparently traumatized at birth by Mimi's camera and flat refuses to let me take his picture - ever. So, we got what we got. And a funny video, too.








Casey and Jacob carved great pumpkins:




Austin decided to take some creepy pictures.




Cody just being cute, as always:

My little boy is a creature who craves routine. I understand this because I am the same way. Life is so much simpler when I can follow my own rhythms, rather than trying to cram myself into someone else's schedule.

You would think that Jacob's need for routine would mean that he would thrive in traditional school. The problem is that he also struggles mightily with transitions, so the very thought of having to get him up and out the door each morning makes me shudder. Take this morning, for instance. Jacob had a bit of a hard time falling asleep last night - he was just being quiet and looking at books later than normal. Consequently, he woke up a little later and his 'morning routine' seems to be taking quite a while, too.

Every morning, he follows the same self-imposed schedule. He uses the restroom, makes his bed, picks up his room, gets fully dressed, fills the bathroom sink with water to wet his hair, fixes his hair, brushes his teeth. Only then will he come out for breakfast. Sometimes he washes his shoes in the sink, too, which takes a while. I let him go through this whole process everyday because it seems to give him the right start to his morning. Kind of like me getting my quiet time and shower in before the day begins. Some days it takes him an hour to get himself fully ready for the day. For this reason, we don't have an official start time for homeschool. Truthfully, 'school' lasts all day since Jacob is learning new things all the time!

We've learned the hard way to give Jacob time warnings for each new thing we will be doing. It doesn't seem to matter if we give him a five minute or two hour heads-up. As long as we let him know when change is about to occur, he's fine. I try not to hurry him but once we've set a time for a task to begin, we insist that he follow our direction.

It takes a lot of time to accomplish what we need to each day. I am so grateful that I am able to stay home with him. I have to laugh at myself that I thought I would just put him in school and continue to work full-time. I can't even imagine how stressful our lives would be! I know that lots of moms do exactly that and I have to say that they just amaze me. I would be drowning.

I am happy to report that the defiance issues are beginning to subside a bit. We did have a colossal fit after trick-or-treating the other night, but overall Jacob is growing more at ease with our authority as parents. I keep track of the big meltdowns on the calendar so that I can maintain my perspective when we're having a particularly bad day. If you don't count the two meltdowns we had on Halloween [which honestly are understandable!] we only had five for the whole month of October. I think that's pretty good for being home seven weeks!

So now, an hour after he woke up, Jacob is ready to come out for breakfast. Then we'll watch Curious George on PBS and start our school day. Jacob is flying through the Kindergarten curriculum that I purchased so we will be starting first grade later this week. I'll continue to add in the Kindergarten activities to reinforce the letter sounds and we won't officially start first grade math for a couple of months. I want Jacob to have a little more English before we get too far along with math.

Speaking of English, he is such a little sponge. He seems to understand everything that we say and he is using a pretty even mixture of English and Ukrainian to communicate with us. He likes to teach us Ukrainian words - he goes around the house and points to an object first saying the English word then the Ukrainian. I am amazed at how many English words he knows!


I'll try to upload some Halloween pics tomorrow. I have another new laptop since my last new one had to be returned. Hopefully this one is a keeper - all the setup takes me forever!!

That's what all the moms said. I met several moms through blogging that had adopted HIV+ kids, and every one of them said the same thing to me - it's just no big deal.

Obviously we have decided to be open about Jacob's status. Disclosure is a hot topic in the HIV+ adoption world and each family has to decide what is best for themselves. For us, HIV/AIDS has been dinner conversation at our house for years. God brought this issue into our home via a Leadership Summit conference that I had attended years ago and it has been a part of our lives ever since.

I had the privilege of going to Ethiopia in the fall of 2007 and visiting with several people who were sick with AIDS. I was so thankful to be welcomed into their homes and to get to hear their stories and pray for them. Every mom that I talked with had one worry which surpassed all others - what would happen to their children when they died? Not only did this experience open my eyes to the magnitude of the AIDS crisis, it also gave me an incredible amount of compassion for these mothers and their beautiful, innocent children.

When we first committed to adopt Jacob, LaRue and I discussed how we would handle disclosing his HIV status. LaRue just basically made the decision that we would be totally open about it; we would not treat it like a big secret. In our eyes it is no different than if Jacob had some other chronic condition. Yes, there may be some people that will treat him differently but we plan to do all we can to educate as many people as possible within our sphere of influence. It is true that we made this decision for Jacob but as his parents we feel that its in his best interest and in the best interest of our family. As parents, we make these kinds of decisions for our children all the time.

After living with Jacob for almost two months, I do agree that HIV is just no big deal. We've had nosebleeds and skinned elbows - my mommy gene kicks in and we just take care of it. Honestly, I am much more concerned about other people making him sick. I find myself being extremely overprotective about him being around other kids, especially now with all of this flu hysteria going on. I have to get over that!

We haven't started Jacob on medication yet but we will in about three weeks. Even though his numbers are good, the doctors think that the virus is preventing him from gaining weight. I feed him all day long but he hasn't gained an ounce since we've been home. Other than that, he's a normal, active little boy. He's funny and smart and completely wonderful. Not that I'm biased or anything :)

I am a total amateur at all of this but I am learning and happy to share what I've learned so far. I'm happy to answer questions - just leave me a comment or send an email.

Back in May when we were first supposed to submit our dossier I had posted this somewhat excited but cryptic non-explanation for the delay. I wasn't able to go into any details at the time. We were scheduled to submit on May 18th and I had, of course, spent the entire day checking my email and waiting for the phone to ring. When the call finally came late in the afternoon, I was completely floored by the news we received.

We were not submitted because our Jacob had [suppposedly] tested negative for HIV. This bumped him out of the special needs adoption line and we were told that we may not be able to submit until November! Honestly, I didn't know how to react. On the one hand, I was thrilled for Jacob that he was negative - on the other I was devastated that we would have such a huge delay in our process. BUT - there was a part of me that just didn't believe it. I was so completely certain that God had called us to adopt an HIV+ child - what could this mean? Had I misunderstood what I felt God was leading us to? Were we really supposed to be this child's parents?

It was devastating. I could not understand why I wasn't thrilled about this news. I felt so selfish because I just wanted him home with me. It took a lot of prayer and scripture reading to get my head on straight again.

LaRue and I were both so sceptical about the news. We got confirmation from our agency that Jacob had tested negative not once but twice. We could not imagine how a six-year-old could be misdiagnosed like this. Had he not been tested since birth? That seemed the only explanation.

Our facilitator in Ukraine was able to get us an earlier submission date and we did successfully submit in July - we were so thankful!!

We left for Ukraine only half believing that he was not HIV+. I took the waiver paperwork with me just in case, but I hadn't gotten any of the signatures that we needed from our doctor and the county health official. Our facilitator confirmed that Jacob was not HIV+. We were confused about God's plan but we decided to trust and keep moving forward.

At our SDA appointment, the official who showed us Jacob's photo asked if we were aware of his medical issues. We said yes, half-wondering if this was some kind of game. Medical problems, wink wink. Is this why we were able to get an earlier submission date? It was all so strange.

We traveled to the region and met with the orphanage director. She confirmed that Jacob was HIV+ and could not figure out why anyone thought differently. By this time, LaRue and I have decided that it doesn't matter. We just want to get him home as quickly as possible.

We went through our entire process in Ukraine not really knowing. At our embassy medical appointment we told the doctor that he was positive - we were convinced by then that he was and we wanted to move the waiver process along as quickly as possible. The doctor didn't believe us! She insisted on giving Jacob an HIV test. Gee whiz. So, after a couple of hours we got the confirmation that he was indeed positive. We still don't know why we were told that he was negative - apparently there was some mix-up with his medical info.

Sweet Casey had run around town at home getting all the necessary signatures for our waiver and FedEx'd them to another family that was traveling to Ukraine. We were able to complete our process without delay and bring Jacob home to our great team of doctors at the children's hospital. His doctors here are amazed at how healthy he is, considering that he never really received any treatment in Ukraine. His numbers are good and he is generally healthy but we will still be starting him on drug therapy next month. Despite eating non-stop he has not gained any weight since we've had him home. The specialist thinks that he may have a great growth spurt a couple of months after starting meds.

This post is getting pretty long but I will write a follow up post soon about how it's been so far living with HIV. We are far from experts but learning every day so hopefully our journey will inspire someone else to bring one of these extra-special kids home!!!

I read quite a few books before we brought Jacob home. During this past year, I did try to absorb as much info as I could about possible behavioral issues that we could face. One of the recurring themes in most of what I've read says that you can't discipline your adopted kids the same way that you would your bio kids. At first I think that I took this to mean no discipline at all. One book even says that kids won't want to bond with a 'mean mom'.

Kids need boundaries and limits. and consistency. Things that I admit freely I was not good at with my older kids. So, I am parenting much differently this time around.

The primary behavioral issue that we have seen with Jacob is defiance. He is a very independent little guy - which we expected. We are stepping in and doing things for him as it seems appropriate. We don't want to take away all of his independence but he does need to learn to be 'taken care of' by his parents. It's a delicate dance.

The orphanage director told us that Jacob does not like to be told no. We laughed at that statement at the time - what kid likes to be told no?? It became apparent very quickly that the caregivers didn't tell him no very often. Jacob responds very poorly to not getting his way. We had a decision to make - and we chose to be tough on this one. Unfortunately, Jacob spent quite a bit of time in his 'think it over chair' during his first month with us.

When told no, his first response has been to roll his eyes and click his tongue at us in disgust. Then he'll cross his arms over his chest and go into full on defiance mode. I know that he is being sassy with me but I don't know what he's saying. We are working on the eye rolling and responding with 'yes, Mom' or 'OK, Mom' instead of no. No seems to just pop out of his mouth before he's had a chance to think about what he's saying. Sometimes he'll respond no even as he's moving to do the thing that he was asked to do.

At his doctor appointment this week, an intern came in and talked with Jacob for about an hour. He had served a mission in Russia so he and Jacob were able to speak Russian with each other. At one point, another doctor was asking Jacob [in English]if he had any pain in his tummy. He shook his head no but the intern translated just in case. Apparently Jacob replied in Russian with 'no, what's it to ya?'.

Sass.

We asked the intern to find out why Jacob won't sleep in his own room. He's been sleeping in a little bed in our room since we got home. He did sleep in his room for one night but cried the second night that we tried to put him to bed in there. He had us convinced that he was afraid of being alone. When the intern asked if he was afraid of his room or his bed, or maybe of being alone, Jacob laughed and said no. He told the intern that he just likes to sleep in our room. Hmmmm. He is sleeping in his own bed now and doing just fine - little stinker. I convinced him that the bed in our room was usually used by babies and suddenly his 'big boy bed' looked a lot more appealing.

I wanted to address the issue of 'falling in love'. Over the past year, there were lots of times that I felt like I wasn't feeling enough love for Jacob. It was very easy for me to get caught up in the tasks that needed to be accomplished in order to bring him home. I read other blogs of women who were working toward bringing a child home and some of them seemed to already LOVE the child. Some wrote about having dreams about their child or crying because they couldn't hold them or kiss them.

I have gone through this whole process knowing that love is a verb. Love is doing. Love the feeling is a very fickle emotion. Love the verb sticks it out - no matter what. I know without a doubt that I am a better parent to Jacob because of my three older kids. I had to learn a long time ago to get over myself. I have had my feelings hurt and my love rejected and I know that I can do love without expecting to receive love in return.

Jacob is beginning to really love me. I know it. He has been willing to kiss and hug me all along but in the beginning he was very aggressive and controlling with his affection. Now he is sweet and his kisses are a genuine show of love. He says 'I love you' at appropriate times and with eye contact. It is so wonderful. When I hug him now his little body is not rigid and alert but soft and trusting.

I love him with all my heart. Love the verb - yes. And also love the emotion. He really feels like my child now. I'll admit, for a while, it did feel like I was babysitting, especially when we were in Ukraine. It doesn't feel weird anymore. Yes, we have some mad faces and sass once in a while but we're learning how to string together several days of good behavior. Not too bad for being home less than a month.

We are so thankful for this child. We marvel at God's grace and provision. I don't deserve this awesome life. Thank you, Jesus, that I don't have to deserve it - I just get to accept it. Awesome.

I am not a fan of those words. Almost without fail, they are followed by some statement that either costs me a lot of money or causes me a lot of work. This time it ended up causing LaRue a lot of work.











It seems that Wiley the snake lived up to his name and slithered into the sink during a photo shoot. INTO the sink. You know that overflow part with the two little holes at the front of the sink? Yeah, that. He was IN the sink.

I called LaRue to tell him that the snake was in the sink, Austin had to go to work and Jacob and I were going to Hobby Lobby until this whole thing got resolved.

Of course, LaRue saved the day. An hour of coaxing [and finally resorting to using the hair dryer] and the snake was rescued.

Never a dull moment around here. NEVER.

Ahhhh. For the past two days I have felt mostly in control of my environment. WooHoo!

I knew that bringing a small child into the house would be an adjustment - but wow.

Jacob is amazing - I cannot believe how blessed we are to have him. It is the most surreal feeling in the world to look back on the past year and all of the moments that I dreamed of having him here. It is almost unbelievable - but here he is. I thank God every day for this miracle.

I remember the conversations that LaRue and I had out in the gazebo last fall - wondering if this was really God's plan for us and could we do it? Would we say yes??

I remember touching that one and only photo that we had every time that I walked by the refrigerator and saying out loud "we're coming, baby - as fast as we can". I prayed every day for God to give Jacob comfort and supernaturally let him know that he would have a family soon.

I remember agonizing over big financial decisions that had to be made to allow me to stay home with Jacob. I remember unexpected financial gifts from people who understood our hearts and wanted to help us.

I remember crying at the setbacks and roadblocks that came up. God was faithful every time and eventually I was able to see how His timing was, as always, perfect.

That moment, seeing Jacob for the first time and knowing that this really was him. He has a little freckle over his eye that I recognized right away. This was our boy.

He had just turned six when we committed to him. Turning six meant being transferred out of the baby house to the 'boarding school' which served as the orphanage for kids ages 6-16. I prayed that Jacob would be protected there. I prayed that his seventh birthday would be celebrated with us.

And it was.

We had a very low-key celebration. I cooked sausage and mashed potatoes and Mama made a chocolate cake. We sang "Happy Birthday" and the joy on Jacob's face made me cry.

Happy Birthday, sweet boy. You are all ours now and we could not be more grateful.

We've been home for two weeks. WOW.

A lot has changed around here. Homeschool is in full swing. Some of the activities are a bit young for Jacob but we are going to stick with the Kindergarten curriculum because he needs to get the basics down. He has learned so many words and seems to comprehend most of what we say. We struggle some with abstract concepts but overall I am incredibly impressed with his adaptability and ability to learn.

I am not usually one for having artwork all over the fridge but, oh well. And yes, that is more artwork taped to the wall. Like I said, a lot has changed around here!





Aunt Rachel and Uncle Carl gave Jacob a Legos set for an early birthday present. He built this all by himself while I cooked dinner - I couldn't believe it. He sat for an hour putting this together. What a great present.



This was my best attempt at getting a picture of Cody and Jacob together. Better luck next time, I'd say.



Ready for Halloween! Only a month to go...



He likes to sleep like this - which could explain why he gets so sweaty.





My beautiful welcome home flowers from my Mommy. It's so good to be home!!

hmmm. Some of my other children have some 'splainin to do...





Yes, that is a real snake. Some of you may recall my reaction to our first snake. Apparently while I was in Ukraine, we acquired two more adorable snakes. Where does this madness end??

Or, shall I say, attempting to swim. I had such high hopes that Jacob knew how to swim. He absolutely loves taking a bath and when we asked him about swimming he made very convincing swimming motions with his arms and legs.

So, with great excitement, he stepped into the pool for the first time.



He marched down the steps like it was no big deal at all.




He stepped of the last step...and sank like a rock. Casey was still changing into her suit so I had to jump in fully clothed and save him. Just threw down the camera and kicked off my shoes and jumped in. Camera survived, thank goodness.

I grabbed a pair of Cody's floaties and put them on Jacob, assuring him that these would hold him up so he could swim. I forgot to take into account that he weighs 40 pounds. So, poor little guy trusted Mommy and stepped in again. And sank like a rock. This time Casey was there to save him.

They decided to put him on the raft and avoid any more trauma for this go around.




Today we went out and bought a better floatation device. He wasn't sure at first if it would work but it did hold him up. He couldn't seem to get out of this position, though:



Being the smart little guy that he is, he has come up with the perfect way to cruise the pool:



Oh well. I guess we'll be taking swim lessons next summer...

Ahhhh. home.


We had a pretty eventful trip home but I won't bore you with the details - the important thing is that we made it home safe and sound. Jacob is having a blast getting into everything and being showered with attention from his siblings. Mom is just happy to hug and kiss on her big kids and hubby.

Jacob and I are both working through the jet lag. I was up at 1am this morning and he slept in til 4 - thank goodness he naps 'cause he'll be needing one today!

I'm setting a goal to be on a schedule by Monday - wish me luck LOL

Welcome to America sweet Jacob. We're so happy to finally have you HOME.

Our waiver came through this morning and we are flying out tomorrow. Thank you so much for all of the prayers and encouragement throughout this process.

It has been 37 days - I think that's right - and I am missing my hubby and our kids at home like crazy. I miss a lot of things to be honest, but this adventure has been wonderful and I am so amazed that I am a mom again. I'm not sure that it will totally sink in until we get home and start some kind of routine.

Jacob is excited to go to America. When I told him that the passport was ready he jumped up and down yelling 'go to America!!!' He cried when I put him down tonight. He is scared, it seems. No kidding. What an upheaval for him, this past month. I am missing silly things like my clothes dryer and the Food Network - things I will have again in a few hours. Jacob has lost everything that he's ever known, and he'll never get it back. Yes, we know that his life will be better with us. He really seems happy. But, what is 'America' to him?

America is where Daddy is. And Casey, Austin, Kristi and Cody. Mama and Papa. Lots of aunts, uncles and cousins. The dog and the turtle.

It will be so great to get home and start our new life together. Get him hooked on pancakes for breakfast instead of cheese. He's been asking me all day if this or that is available in America. Milk, water, sour cream. I had to break the news that I don't know if we have the cheese that he loves so much - I believe they call it cydok [he pronounces it see-dok]. I promised to try and find it and that seemed to make him happy. It is like a moist cheesecake - if anyone knows where I might find it in the US I'll be a hero. He eats it every morning for breakfast with a spoonful of sour cream. He'd eat it three meals a day, if I'd let him.

There is a lot to love about this country - it really is special and very different from anyplace else that I've been. I'll try to post more pics when I get home and settled. We will get settled, won't we? :)